Every single person on the planet has been affected by the COVID-19 pandemic this year in some way or another.
My personal bit.
Four weeks ago, I had to undergo quite a large emergency operation. It was very unexpected, very sudden and very scary for my family and me.
There’s more?
I was also advised that my husband could not go with me due to the pandemic, so the second impact it had on me was in the doctor’s rooms. I went for my visit and had to sit alone – with no hand to hold – while I was told that I was experiencing postmenopausal bleeding and that statistically 90% of woman that had the same symptoms as me had either cervical, ovarian or adenomyosis cancer. My chances were 1/10 in being benign.
A new norm post pandemic trauma
My “emergency” procedure could only take place six days later because I now had to be tested for Covid-19 before the hospital would even allow me through their doors. I had to find a lab that had space for me to take the test and had stock. I then had to wait for the results. Added to the list is medical aid authorisation. To top all of that off, my doctor had to write a letter to the hospital board justifying why I needed this operation so urgently. She needed their permission and she needed space on the theatre schedule. It was the longest six days of my life. This was the third impact of covid for me. An emergency turned into a week. That’s the reality of the ‘new norm’ here.
My greatest pain.
Again, because of coronavirus, I was not allowed a loved one with me before, during or after my procedure. In fact, no visitors are allowed at all in hospitals at the moment in South Africa. I was scared out of my bracket – not for cancer, but anesthetic – and I was all alone. My ‘voice of reasoning’ (my husband and partner for everything in life) wasn’t allowed on my journey with me and I felt very alone. There are no adequate words to explain the anguish I went through for those six days, and especially the eight hours, before my op. It was totally isolating!
What the pandemic!
Have you ever tried to sleep with a mask on? Or wear it 24 hours every single day? Have it wrapped under your chin during surgery and have a nurse fighting with you to keep it on post-op whilst you’re still drunk? It is horrific, not normal and unnatural.
I also witnessed very fear-paranoid sisters and nurses who got irritable all the time with patients because their stress and anxiety levels were through the roof. The hospital staff’s lack of patience was evident to everyone and it took all of me to bite my tongue and let it go when I saw them treating someone poorly…or even when they were shitty to me. The service levels in that private hospital were shocking, And that is because they are so understaffed through this pandemic. They are frontline. They are terrified and the fear could drive them mad I am sure. I knew that all I could do was to practise patience and not react in any negative way. Reacting is the negative habitual dysfunctional pattern we have created through the years and it is tainted with all of our personal life experiences from birth. Responding is choosing to observe ourselves, notice our negative patterns and then consciously proceeding mindfully.
All things are my teacher.
There are only two emotions. Love and fear. All other emotions: such as hate, joy, anger, peace are spin-offs from these two emotions. We are searchers in this life. Looking to find ourselves, our purpose, our creator and so forth. I realised that love and fear are based on the stories we tell ourselves in our heads. I was so scared because my doctor had told me all these negative statistics! So, I let go of the narrative I had, and I gave in. I surrendered to my Divine Beloved’s will and therefore just allowing the process of MY life to happen naturally. There was no way I could control any of this and so I changed my story to one of love. Life boils down to the decisions and choices we make. I chose love.
My epiphany.
A process like this makes one reassess their entire life and this is obviously what happened to me too. I asked myself; if I had to die now, was I happy with me and where my life was and all that was either in or not in it?
Conclusion.
I needed this experience to level up spiritually. These challenges helped me to develop my personal powers. I am able to be even more present and alert now. No more am I plagued with questions of ‘why is this happening to me’ or ‘why is this particular period in my life so long’, but rather, I can choose how I respond to what happens and that is where my personal power lies.
Something to contemplate.
There is a beautiful quote that says ~
When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out – because that’s what’s inside. When you are squeezed, what comes out is what is inside.”
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
As life coaches, we are change activators that will help you with certain tools to implement the change that you want but are just not sure of how to go about it.
Yours in kindness,
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