Rule no 1 in my life is…
Gratitude!
When I wake up in the morning, the very first words that come out of my mouth are “Thank You, Thank You, Thank You”. Okay…not actual words! But, I do say them in my head. I have learnt that with each step, each time I place my foot, to say Thank (left foot) You (right foot). This took a whole lot of training and practice, but I promise, that the benefits have been truly amazing.
I used to be a very negative thinking human being. The continuous self-whipping was a never-ending story going on in my mind. I always prepared myself by expecting the worst to happen. I would have permanent relentless arguments and discussions with phantom people in my mind – because the mere fact that I wasn’t actually talking to the person who had upset me, made them ghosts. I spent my valuable time trying to change the outcome of events that had occurred, but were not to my satisfaction. What a crazy person I was! Living in the past…that I just could not change…or in the future…that had no guarantee would happen. I finally realised what an enormous waste of energy I was putting myself through. I had no control of the past, future or people! I only had power over what was going on in my mind now.
I went on a mission to learn how to stay out of my head. There were various people I met, tools I learnt and great quotes I memorised….one being “Gratitude is the best attitude”. I was taught that if we focus on the good, then more good follows. We literally reap what we sow. I realised that – much like a parent rewards good behaviour – life would throw great things my way if I was just simply grateful for what I already had. I had to learn to keep the door open for positivity to flow through, and the best technique I learnt on how to do exactly this is gratefulness!
I also had to face the fact that I had to take responsibility. Being negative was more than a bad habit. It was a drug! I had to (for my own sanity if nothing else) comprehend that every single thing that happened was a blessing! Even those things I deemed bad. I finally understood that life happened for me…and not to me. I took back my power, my wasted energy, the control and ultimately, my life. I had to learn to retrain my brain….and these are a couple of quick examples of how I learnt to do it:
- Buy a gratitude journal (or two). I have one next to my bed that I write 3 things in each night of what happened in my day that I am thankful for, and I have one in my lounge where I write 5 things I am grateful for every morning. In this way, I start and end each day in gratitude
- Buy a gratitude jar. I have a huge glass jar on my dressing table and each day I write something I am thankful for on a note and throw it into the jar. On new year’s eve I sit and empty the jar, one note at a time, and read the 365 things I was grateful that year. It’s a very powerful and moving experience!
- Buy post-its and stick little gratitude notes all over your home (and office). Put them in strategic places like next to your bed (to see first and last thing), on a cupboard or wall to see as you walk into a room or even on the bathroom mirror to see as you brush your teeth
The key to all of this is to find something new to be thankful for each time. In the beginning it can be challenging, but over time it will become a way of life. Push yourself! Think of the skin on your body that allows you to feel….or the birds singing outside in your garden each morning. Another great tip to help you remember is by putting reminders on your phone. And, finally, another wonderful practise is by adding the word because and then why; this really forces you to focus on your blessing. So, instead of just ‘thank you for my skin’, say ‘thank you for my skin because it gives me a sensation and I can feel my kids hugging me’.
By these simple little adjustments that I have implemented, my life has gone from nothing to – quite literally – everything (but that’s another story for another time).
Yours in kindness
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