A few articles ago, I ended with how this year was dramatically changing for me; and how I had decided to follow my true north and live my deepest desire. Well, I’ve decided to follow up on that in this article because my life has been nothing short of miraculous and I’d like to ask you that question; Are your goals in alignment with your soul?
My 2021
For those of you that are new to my journey, I had discussed how I was ‘adopting the pace of nature’ this year. My son and I started living semi nomadically between two provinces. One inland – where my family now currently resides – and the other at the ocean – where my growing up family still resides.
My soul screams to be near the sea, but my husband isn’t ready to relocate at this particular point in time.
We found a common middle ground and compromised on me going once each quarter for a month.
So, why am I asking you the question, “Are your goals in alignment with your soul?”
Because, once I stepped out of my comfort zones on my own – that I had proclaimed in writing to the world…to kind of FORCE myself to follow through…LOL – I hit such a sweet spot of peace and bliss that I want to share what I have learnt with you!
And I want you to begin to be brave enough to do the same.
“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end”
This is a beautiful quote from Robin Sharma and was exactly what I experienced the first month I lived 600 km away from my husband, home, kids, grandkids, pets and my life in general.
There were tears, loneliness, change-wobbles, awkwardness, uncomfortableness….
And everything in-between.
However, our motto is RENEWAL, and after the first week I managed to find a rhythm.
My true nature is one of structure, routine and schedule. It was only in my 40’s that I decided to actually start living.
By that I mean;
- Opening myself up to possibilities by saying YES to life and everything in it – and releasing my need to control everything with a diary
- Pushing my comfort zones by facing my fears and walking right through them – like skydiving. hot-air ballooning, white river rafting (you get the picture)
- Growing my wisdom, compassion and life experience through travel – local and abroad
- Expanding my IQ, EQ and personal path through continuous study – courses, seminars and so on
So, now was finally the year and the perfect time to release and let go; and ultimately walk my talk as a wellbeing coach.
My job is to lead by example. That starts at home with my family, ripples to include my friends and that same ripple has to extend to my clients and, ultimately, help as much of humanity as possible.
Compassionate enquiry
One of the techniques I used to settle myself was ‘Compassionate enquiry’.
That means that I gently and loving reminded myself of why I was doing what I was doing…
Not only for myself, but for all my loved ones.
My soul had been screaming for ages to be back on a beach daily, but I had ignored it because of the “societal norm” of living with one’s spouse. The comments and concerns we had received in general had been a far cry from supportive. However, we recognized that our loved ones genuinely believed that they had our best interests at heart. Sadly, there were also very ugly accusations made to those aiding us in making my goal a reality. Generally the reaction was not friendly unfortunately because we were going against the stream.
We had to put that aside and do what was best for us. Thankfully, I had a conversation with a lovely couple the first time I was down at the coast that had lived most of their marriage in the same manner and were still happily married!
I had to re-ask myself the big life questions again;
- Why am I here?
- What is my purpose?
- Who am I?
- What do I want?
- What am I grateful for?
- What is my intention for doing this?
Compassionate enquiry means answering honestly and then being really compassionate and understanding with the answers you receive. It means loving yourself enough to be honest, brave and follow your path without self-sacrifice and regardless of what anybody thinks or says. It’s also about holding space for yourself whilst being authentic and allowing your true self the time to express itself fully and naturally.
When we fill our own cup, the overflow blesses everyone else
When I finally put myself first and followed through with my goal, the result was amazing.
I realized the true meaning of the words…
My goal is aligned with my soul.
I found such deep alignment with my purpose. I discovered the true meaning of self-love/care/respect and self-empowerment. My feeling of peace and calm was infinite. And it showed!
At the coast I experienced zero dry eye problems and zero wet nose issues. Things I live with permanently at a higher altitude.
When I got back home, people asked me the weirdest things.
“Have you got a new hair style?”
“Did you dye your hair?”
“Have you got coloured contacts in?”
“Have you started wearing blush? There’s lovely colour in your face”
I received random compliments too.
“You’re glowing”
“You look so healthy”
“Your hair looks stunning”
“Your nails are looking gorgeous”
After it happened several times with people who didn’t even know each other, I started understanding that what people where noticing was my happiness. My attunement. I was glowing with contentment, and everyone was noticing. They saw something different about me and were just trying to figure out what it was.
My goal was in alignment with my soul
I instinctively knew then without a doubt what my dharma was.
Have you ever had that feeling like you were meant to just do something more? Like your life was just meant to be bigger. Well, it is!
You are meant to live passionately!
To put yourself first and then have enough love to be in service to others.
My dharma was to love, approve of and accept myself wholly and unconditionally and then it is to help others attain that too.
A wonderful man once said,
We are all just walking each other home”
Ram Dass
It is our duty to hold each other’s hand. To help one another. To serve all in our human (and all of creation) family.
We can all do this by not only chasing the materialistic goals, but also by pursuing our soul’s goals.
Our soul will never lead us astray. It will always lead us to our – and our tribes – highest purpose and good!
Some tips and techniques for you
Finally, I’ll leave you with some tools that you can use to get to the big things I have discussed.
Self-love
Self-love means doing things for your highest good. Being enough so that you don’t need anyone else. Learn to take and set aside time for yourself every single day. It also means setting boundaries and understanding that ‘No’ is a complete sentence.
Here are 7 Steps to follow:
- Mindfulness – be present NOW
- Act on your needs and not your wants
- Practise good self-care
- Set boundaries
- Protect yourself
- Forgive yourself
- Live intentionally
Comfort Zones
Just outside of your comfort zone is a place called ‘optimal anxiety or ‘productive discomfort’. We must feel discomfort of some sort. That’s where the magic happens. If it’s too much outside of our comfort zone however, we won’t function. So a balance has to be found. Ask yourself if your comfort zone is harming or hurting you. Growth requires a certain amount of risk. Stagnation is a problem too and we should flow with life like water.
- Take risks in a controlled and managed way and/or environment
- You must try new things, new places and get to know new people for personal growth
- Say yes to life! Make a decision to start saying yes to every opportunity or invite that comes your way
Being Authentic
Examine your belief systems and question them regularly. We always have a choice! We can change our mind at any time about anything. Send love to yourself – your authentic self – every single day. Understand that it can take time to develop authenticity. Stay Intune with yourself. Listen to your intuition. Show yourself compassion. Stay authentic by telling the truth always. Speak your truth.
And, find your purpose – which is intricately linked.
Finding your Purpose
You came to this earth with a purpose (dharma), that is yours and yours alone. It is something the world desperately needs at this exact moment in time and only you can provide it. You see, our Divine doesn’t make mistakes.
So, how do you find it? Start with these simple questions:
- What did you absolutely love doing as a child?
- Which activities do you do that make time feel like it just stops?
- What do people repeatedly tell you that you are good at?
- What was the last thing (book / movie / outing / idea) that really got you excited?
- If you didn’t have to go to work – or if money wasn’t an issue – what would you spend your time doing every day?
Make finding your dharma a priority because, once you do, everything just falls into place with synchronicity and everyday becomes a joy to live.
Please contact me if you’d like to book a free session with me to see if life coaching is a good fit for you.
Please feel free to share with your family and friends if you resonated with this article.
Yours in kindness,
Taz